kiss and makeup {with your self-esteem}

Thursday, April 13, 2017

So you know that thing that girls do when they post a picture of themselves and they like everything about it except maybe that one tiny little hair that's out of place or the way their arm looks from that particular angle so they add a passive-aggressive caption along with the photo that says "ugh, excuse my gross face" or "please don't pay attention to how fat I look"? (Wooo, that was a mouth full!)

I've been there. Many times. I'd be willing to bet that at some point, we all have. In fact, I think my entire high school experience was one giant "PLEASE DON'T ZOOM IN ON MY MYSPACE PIC, MY PORES ARE HUGE!"

Ladies, I'ma be blunt. You need to stop. I need to stop. We all need to stop. That vision you have in your head of what defines beauty is society's ideal, not yours. We've been trained, brainwashed and conditioned to adhere to a certain look; whether it's the way you style your hair or the thickness of your brows, we buy into these standards until we've all lost all originality, all sense of reality and above all else, our individuality. Don't make excuses for being you.

Now please don't get me wrong; I love a cute dress and a pedicure as much as the next girl. There's absolutely nothing wrong with taking pride in your appearance, (in fact, I encourage it) carrying yourself with confidence and rockin' that new pair of jeans. I've always been into fashion {while ballin' on a budget, mind you} and I'll forever love me a good pair of shoes.

But in all honesty, lawwwd help me if I don't really, really love my worn-out yoga pants, baggy t-shirt and a messy, frizz-inclined bun on the top of my head, too. 


Since I started wearing makeup around the age of 14, the mere thought of being photographed without it is enough to send me into a tailspin. In fact, I genuinely have a reputation with friends and family as being the fastest Facebook un-tagger there is. Taking pictures with me can be an ordeal; I promise you, I'll likely find something I hate about the way I look, whether it's the shininess of my forehead, the size of my two front teeth or the way my shirt clings a little too tight to the pooch of my belly. It. Is. Exhausting. Why do I continuously do this to myself? Why am I so preoccupied with ensuring a flattering angle on my latest Instagram post when there's so many more important things going on in my life and the world at large?

Wanna know something even harder for me to admit? Even when just lounging around the house by myself, I occasionally catch a glimpse of myself makeup-free and will put on a touch of foundation or a swipe of mascara just to keep myself from cringing. The amount of unhealthy in that sentence is astounding.

People see me every day in person. They know what I look like. They know what I don't. Why am I so quick to try and change that perception on social media?

Comparing yourself to others is a dangerous thing. You can't change your height, you can't choose the skin you're in. Sure, you can lose weight. Do it. You can cut your hair. That's great! Go for it! But you can never become someone else. I have spent so many hours of my life looking at girls with better skin, bigger boobs and brighter eyes, wondering how they could have possibly been born so graceful, so beautiful, and with all the knowledge and skill in the world to do their hair and makeup so perfectly when I legit struggle with getting my eyeliner on even remotely straight.

I guarantee you, they're thinking the exact same thing.

You are you, are you, are you. There is a reason for that. You can be nobody else. Why would you want to be? The Lord above gave you this life for a reason. Find your purpose and be proud. And for goodness sake, stop calling yourself ugly, gross or unworthy--on Twitter or in private. You are what you believe you are. By speaking of yourself negatively, you portray someone who is unconfident, vulnerable and insecure. This will become how other people see you as well. You know how you are what you eat? You're also what you think.

Let's be honest. I'll always be a firm believer that makeup is pretty awesome. But man, I really need to start accepting myself without all that. I'm still me underneath. I have a good heart, an incredible family and I'm in a really good place in my life. I am surrounded by so much love. Is it really the end of the world if someone sees me without concealer on my face? Or if my hair looks like I just took my finger to an electrical outlet?

Remember: you are beautifully and wonderfully made. On purpose. Your natural self is authentic, original and pure. There was not a single mistake made on you, gorgeous girl. There's nothing wrong with getting dolled up. Just don't lose your sense of worth with each swipe of your makeup wipe.

Consider this my public promise to live life and start loving myself. My true self. After all, my bathroom mirror doesn't come with a Snapchat filter.


1 comment:

  1. Kaley,
    I have told you many times you don't need makeup because you are beautiful without it and very lucky to have been blessed in that way, Bigger this and smaller that is Madison Avenue shaping ones thoughts and visions and isn't healthy (unless it's healthy:-) Love your blog!